Why My Car Sucks

"Sweet Trav" (thespunbearing) 02/02/2015 at 13:31 • Filed to: why your car sucks, why my car sucks

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Some people are fans of the Ford Fusion. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Ford Fusion. This 2015 tongue-in-cheek car "review" is for those in the latter group.

Full Disclosure: I was a fan of the Ford Fusion before I drove it to work today

A little bit of background: For those of you know who don't know Detroit is currently dealing with the aftermath of it's worst snow storm in 40 years, third worst in recorded history. This weather has exposed some glaring faults in my own car, so now my DD is clearly and squarely in the sights of Why Your Car Sucks. Now this trusty and reliable Mid-size family sedan may have only 175 horsepower, but it has a whole lot of suck.

My Car: 2014 Ford Fusion SE 2.5l Sport Appearance Package

My 2014 Model Year Vital Stats: 175 Horsepower in the form of a carry over, completely unrefined 2.5l I4. 6 speed manual Auto. 235 series tires on 18 inch wheels.

My Engine: so the Fusion has a 2.5l 4 Cylinder which is a bored and stroked version of the 2.3l Mazda MZR engine which has been around since Jesus left Baltimore. It lacks the fancy twin scroll turbo of the Ecoboost Model. The direct injection of most modern 4's and it is generally about refined as an ox cart. It puts out a 175 horsepower, which to be honest is entirely adequate for the purpose of this car. Same numbers, and same explanation for the torques. It is however, loud, and vibrates in all the wrong ways. but it does share its lineage with the engine found in the BAC mono, so thats something, which could be why at WOT it sounds better than most 4's.

My Aesthetics Recipe: Currently, it looks just like a normal fusion, however covered in salt, ice, and snow. Boots and blanket in the back seat in case i got stuck, or wanted a picnic. Like lots of cars that I think are good looking at launch, the Fusion's aesthetics are wearing on me. I mean Ford's blatant copy of the Aston grille looked cool on one model, but now as it expands from the Fiesta to the Transit. I think the boys (and girls) in Dearborn needs to come up with something different for the refresh.

What's new that sucks: My windshield cracked this winter, so that's new I suppose.

What has always sucked: The Goodyear Eagle LS-2 equipped by Ford on 18 inch "sport 5 spoke" wheels are the single worst tire I have ever had the displeasure of driving on. stab the gas about 50% on dry pavement and they will deliver a righteous squawk, even the cheap Falken 225/60/15's on my Monte Carlo are able to generate more stick with twice the torque being applied, and that's just on Dry pavement.

Ford should not be allowed to bolt these damned tires to a car in the snowbelt. Save your "hurr-durr buy winter tires" nonsense. Every single All-season tired I have used in the past have been generally serviceable in the winter. Not great when the plows arent out, but certainly at least "safe" at slower speeds when the roads have been salted and plowed.

That being said, if the drive isn't shoveled, or the road isn't plowed, this fucker will get stuck on a booger. The selectrack traction control is laughable. it will lock the wheel with traction and let the other spin out of control. limited slip diffs should be mandatory in all cars shipped to the snowy parts of this country. To get it up the slightly snowy drive, turn off traction control and bury the pedal in the carpet, after much smoke, squealing and error messages on the driver information screen the car managed to go up the slight incline and back into the drive.

On the road these LS-2's manage to provide enough forward grip to allow the car to move after spinning for a few seconds at even the slightest throttle application, but then at speed turn into skis that simply glide over the snow. Again, Ford's fault for fitting a 235 series tire to a lightweight family sedan. Seriously Yamahog's CTS-V loaner is better in the snow than this claptrap.

What might not suck: When I turn this turd in for my lease, pay the mileage overage charge and get a used first gen CTS-V instead.

Alfalfa > Sweet Trav 02/02/2015 at 13:35

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Before I even read this, I am going to say: about damn time!

FromCanadaWithLove > Sweet Trav 02/02/2015 at 13:35

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175 Horsepower in the form of a carry over, completely unrefined 2.5l I4.

Are you sure? Could have sworn they had V12s.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > Sweet Trav 02/02/2015 at 13:35

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i am 100% behind the future plan.

Also, the booger part was hysterical.

citizennick > Sweet Trav 02/02/2015 at 13:35

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I like reviews like this! I should have done one with my CVT equipped Lancer when I still had it.

Sweet Trav > FromCanadaWithLove 02/02/2015 at 13:37

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lol. I wish.

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > Sweet Trav 02/02/2015 at 13:37

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Either all the cars at my house have always had shitty all seasons, or people are way to overdramatic about how bad these LS-2s are. The LS-2 on my mom's Fusion (which looks identical to yours, but with dual pipes for the 2.0L EcoBoost) really aren't that terrible. I'm sure there are better tires out there, but they aren't bad at all. Just average.

44444444444 > Sweet Trav 02/02/2015 at 13:41

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Continental ExtremeContact DWS. A decent UHP all season... Now why a NA FWD sedan needs UHP tires I dunno. Probably a side effect of the Fusion being a Fordified Volvo S60. What you need is a turbo and haldex AWD.

Sweet Trav > Logansteno: Bought a VW? 02/02/2015 at 13:43

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it's not just that the LS-2 are shitty, its that they fitted a 235 series tire to a car that weighs 3300lbs that's like fitting snow shoes on it. Even the Malibu I had years with cheap off brand all seasons was a champ simply because they were only 215's. Also the 2.0 t motor is a bit heavier up front than the 1.5t or the 2.5 n/a

Luc - The Acadian Oppo > Sweet Trav 02/02/2015 at 13:44

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Any factory all season is pure garbage they use the lowest rolling resistance(read: lowest grip) to eek out 0.00000001 of an mpg better fuel economy.

saying a car sucks because the factory tires are shitty in the snow is nonsense.

Same with window cracks. you got a stone chip at some point and did not get it repaired then the cold caused it to crack that happens in absolutely any car.

I have the same car with the same tires and I don't use them in winter why? because they suck balls. You live in the snow belt therefore you know what you need to do to make the car not suck.

415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) > Sweet Trav 02/02/2015 at 13:45

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Most new cars are so uninteresting I can't imagine crossing the aisle at the car show to look at them, let alone going to buy one.

TopSirloin > Sweet Trav 02/02/2015 at 13:45

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At least Ford was honest here. They claimed "Sport Appearance " package where most company's would just call it "Sport" which would make you think they did more than superficial appearance modifications. They didn't say it was fast, they just said it looked that way.

Sweet Trav > 44444444444 02/02/2015 at 13:46

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Yes, if they would have offered the AWD SE in '14 when i got this car, that is probably what i would have gotten.

Nibby > Sweet Trav 02/02/2015 at 13:46

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Sweet Trav > Luc - The Acadian Oppo 02/02/2015 at 13:52

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Nothing hit the windshield. the crack started at the very bottom. ford tech agreed and wrote it as a defective seal or structural issue. However it was at 14k mi when it happened. 2k outside the term when they will fix glass.

Actually the low rolling resistance tires are the Michelin Energy Saver A/S's which come on the standard 17's the Goodyear LS-2 is a cheap tire, but is actually a fairly soft compound tire for an all season. from my friends that have the Michelin's installed, they are significantly better in the snow, one would hazard the guess that the increased negative area is the difference maker.

Also I wrote up a real review of the car here

Sweet Trav > TopSirloin 02/02/2015 at 13:54

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The major seller for me was the 5 spoke wheels, IMO the only good looking factory wheels offered on this car, also the cloth seats with the red stitching are a nice touch.

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > Sweet Trav 02/02/2015 at 13:55

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I'm not exactly an expert on tires, but those tires being 235s, while supposedly being terrible in the snow, handle better in the dry because of how wide they are?

I guess the weight of the 2.0T makes a big difference, because once you're moving and put your foot down, it just goes without any fuss.

I dunno, ours hasn't been exposed to snow yet, so I have yet to judge on that front, but in the dry and rain the car is perfectly fine and handles better than nearly everything I've driven.

deekster_caddy > Sweet Trav 02/02/2015 at 13:57

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wide tires with short sidewalls... this should draw more ire than the lack of a spare in some models! Costing people money in so many ways... no pothole protection, more expensive tires, bad grip in the snow. I bet some 215s or 205s would change the bad weather dynamics a lot.

I hate that manufacturers are making 18" and 20" (and 22" on SUVs) standard rim sizes these days. They should be options or packages for people in the south who don't have winter. But the rest of us need 'normal' rim sizes so there is some sidewall to absorb the potholes!

I'll spare you the winter tire since you asked to be spared, but I agree that it shouldn't get stuck on boogers. That's gross.

Doug DeMuro > Sweet Trav 02/02/2015 at 13:58

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Don't blame the Fusion! Blame the tires!!

Sweet Trav > Nibby 02/02/2015 at 13:58

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Reel big fish - everything sucks:

Justin Hughes > Sweet Trav 02/02/2015 at 13:58

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OK, I'll save you the "get winter tires" rant as you asked. I'll tell you this instead.

All OEM tires suck.

A while back, I had a Neon company car for a year. It came with the OEM Goodyear Eagle GAs. Friends told me that "GA" stands for "Gawd Awful." And they were, especially in snow. I couldn't even get up the short hill in my driveway at the time on occasion. Oh, I'd asked for them to be replaced, but nobody listens to me.

Fortunately, the tread wore out very quickly (also common for OEM tires - my BRZ's stock Michelin Primacy HPs were already half dead at under 10k miles, and no, it's not because I drift the hell out of it on my way to work), so that plus a spontaneous flat encouraged my employer to replace the tires. They gave it Goodyear Integrity all-seasons instead. Note: ALL SEASONS! We're comparing apples to apples here.

These are far from the world's best tires, but they transformed the car. For regular street driving (which was all I ever did with it), they were quite good. Snow performance improved tremendously. I never had trouble on slippery roads or getting up my driveway again.

Sweet Trav > Doug DeMuro 02/02/2015 at 14:02

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Wow, The Doug DeMuro...

I can die happy now. Probably on my way home in this weather, sideways, into viaduct.

Nibby > Sweet Trav 02/02/2015 at 14:05

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SAW THIS IN RELATED VIDEOS

FLASHBACK TO TONY HAWK IN 1999

Milky > deekster_caddy 02/02/2015 at 14:07

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Thats why you just add more sidewall in the winter!!

Summer set up: 255/35/19

Winter set up: 245/40/19

Dat grip in the summer and dem blizzaks in the snow.

sprnova > Sweet Trav 02/02/2015 at 14:08

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Don't mean this to come off as a jerk comment, but why would you get a cat with that 2.5 to start with? You're a "car guy", obviously...I assumed the only people that would get that engine are people that are only marginally aware of what the 2.5 actually refers to. Why not get one of the modern turbo engines rather than that carryover?

Also, for what it's worth, I had a Fusion rental (1.6 turbo even!) for a bit and liked it until it rained and I almost torque-steered into a river!

Tapas > Sweet Trav 02/02/2015 at 14:12

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Dear customer,

Thank you for your purchase of a quality Ford product.

But....for reals bruh, how can you even say that? I mean the audacity to write this article is staggering, with all your facts and rational observations and what have you!

Haven't you seen the ladies in the Ford commercial, dude? They swear zany, <2. sporty performance adjective> and <3. youth endearing adjective> Fords feel soooo much better than the Hondas and even BMWs they used to have! And we all know making you think you have a better car is more important than actually making a better car.

- Sincerely,

Marketing Department

Ford Motor Co

Sweet Trav > sprnova 02/02/2015 at 14:13

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Because the fusion is just nice reliable transportation that is easy on gas.

This is the car hibernating in the garage waiting for spring. It's hard to drive a car that gets 10mpg 80 miles a day for work, especially when this car wont even move in the snow.

yamahog > Justin Hughes 02/02/2015 at 14:15

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The OEM tires on the CTS-V are damn nice, IMO.

/trolololol

Sweet Trav > Tapas 02/02/2015 at 14:19

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Honestly, I drove most of this car's direct competition. I'd say that the Ford is probably the best mid-size sedan out there, maybe 1a and 1b with the Mazda 6 (but mazda leasing sucks and so did the base stereo)

They just put some piss poor tires on it.

Justin Hughes > yamahog 02/02/2015 at 14:19

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OK, some high end sports cars come with the right tool for the right job. I'll be putting Michelin Pilot Super Sports on my BRZ this spring, which are OEM for some high end cars. They're also the top rated tire in their category.

But aside from high end sports cars, OEM tires suck.

deekster_caddy > Milky 02/02/2015 at 14:19

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40s = still not enough sidewall. I love the summer grip, but for everything else it's silly.

My car = 235/45/17 summer 215/55/17 winter and I still don't think there's enough sidewall for the winter tires. I'm going to pick up some 16s for my next set of winters.

Tapas > Sweet Trav 02/02/2015 at 14:21

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....that's a different story then.

I do prefer the Mazda 6 to the Fusion and I have a bone to pick with their (and most car) adverts. So there's that.

yamahog > Justin Hughes 02/02/2015 at 14:23

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But what about the BFG Mud Terrains that come stock on Wrangler Rubicons??

(but yea, outside of nitpickin, you're generally correct)

Justin Hughes > yamahog 02/02/2015 at 14:25

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All right, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?

Rico > Sweet Trav 02/02/2015 at 14:27

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Why not get better all season tires?

 > Sweet Trav 02/02/2015 at 14:30

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I think your problem is not with a Fusion but a base model with underpowered engine and shitty tires.

Milky > deekster_caddy 02/02/2015 at 14:30

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Eh, still made it to work just fine (and back home after the Super Bowl last night) just fine in a RWD car, during one of the worst storms ever.

Unless of course when you said "silly" you meant "silly fun sliding and drifting", then I'd agree.

Sweet Trav > Rico 02/02/2015 at 14:31

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because these have 18K miles on them. I'm cheap and I don't feel like dropping $500 for some decent tires on car that I will be turning in come November.

Sweet Trav >  02/02/2015 at 14:39

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I don't mind the power the engine makes, just it's grumpy temperament.

deekster_caddy > Milky 02/02/2015 at 14:46

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They are driveable, no doubt. And cornering on tires like that is just loads of fun. But you have no protection against potholes. For the average consumer, I think it's a silly size. For the enthusiast, well you know what you are getting into!

And I absolutely meant "Silly fun sliding and drifting!"

Axial > Sweet Trav 02/02/2015 at 16:08

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The biggest crime committed by the Fusion is that it's not RWD with those looks.

It's a trend with American automakers. XTS, Impala, Malibu, Fusion, MKZ, 200...all look RWD but are FWD instead. The only saving grace is that a few are also offered in AWD.

teken321 > Sweet Trav 02/04/2015 at 02:08

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thats why i still have my 1995 grand marquis and 2008 flex fuel dodge durango 4x4, I live in oklahoma and you never know what the weather is gonna be....it changes as fast as your time table for changing your underwear.

Luc - The Acadian Oppo > Sweet Trav 02/29/2016 at 11:47

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Did they not? In 2013 when I got mine you could get a 2.0 AWD SE(in Canada at least)